.::Human Brain Analysis... Too Good (Takes 5 mins to read)::.

Women - Multiple processes
Women's brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time. Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe.

Men - Single Process
Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch a TV and talking in phone same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over phone or cook.


LANGUAGE
Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain set up. But can not find the solutions to problems..
Men can not easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems.

3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy.


ANALYTICAL SKILL
Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process. He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she cannot understand the details of the map easily. For her it is just dump of lines in a paper.


CAR DRIVING
While driving a car, men's analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he see an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and driving accordingly.

Where as women take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. His single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrating only on the driving. You can often watch, while men driving the car fastly, the women sit next to him will shout, "GO SLOW" , "CARE FULL", "AAHHH", "OHH GOD.." ..etc..

LIE
Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they got caught easily. Her super natural brain observe the facial expression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words comes from mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lieing.

Men's brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face.

So guys, While lieing to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket. Don't lie face to face.


PROBLEM
End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and put into individual rooms of brain, the problems in individual room of brain and finding the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking on the sky's for a long times. If you disturb him, he gets irritated.

End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry abt the problem solved or not.


WANTS
Men want status, success, solutions, big process... etc
Women want relationship, friends, family...etc. ..


UNHAPPY
If women unhappy with their relations, she can not concentrate on work.
If men unhappy with their work, he can not concentrate on the relations.

MAP
Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain does this. While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of crowd, men can leave his seat to T shop and keeps everything in his mind and comes back to his seat with out problems. He uses his analytical skills space of brain.

Women can't do this. They often lost their way to their seat.

LIFE
Life is very easy to Men. One good job, one alcohol bottle is enough for him.
Women want everything in life.

SPEECH
Women use indirect languages in speech. Priya asked Vijay, "vijay do you like to have a cup of coffee?" This means,Priya really want a cup of coffee. In the morning..... .."Darling, do you think, will it be good to have an Omlette for breakfast"

Men use direct language. "Priya, I want to have a cup of coffee, Pls stop the car when you see a coffee shop".
In the morning...." Darling, Can you please prepare an omelet for breakfast".


HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking, if they are in emotion.
Men act a lot with out thinking. That's why many of prisoners are men all over the world.

.:: Best Divorce Letter, everrrr! ::.

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

I hope that's not a problem !

.::The Female Point System::.

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy. Do something she likes, and you earn points. Do something she
dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for
doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the point system
works.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed (+1)
* You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
* You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
* You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
* You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
* You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
* It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
* You stay by her side the entire party (0)
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy (-2)
* Named Tina (-10)
* Tina is a dancer (-20)
* Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
* You take her out to dinner (+2)
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
* Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
* And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
* You take her to a movie (+1)
* You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
* You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
* You take her to a movie you like (-2)
* It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
* She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
* You hesitate in responding (-10)
* You reply, "Where?" (-35)
* Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
* When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
* You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)